As a self-enforced rule, I could always find something better to do than spend two hours and $10 watching a movie. A few good-natured friends have given me ample space to convert myself with wonderful films such as Garden State, Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind and Amelie. They brought me so far as to own a few dvd’s…that I never re-watched.

But something about the magical discovery of Kerasotes Five Buck Club and the 2009 Oscar nominations for best films had me heading to the cinemas every other day at the beginning of the year. Films such as Milk, Vicky Cristina Barcelona, Slumdog Millionaire, Benjamin Button and Frost Nixon had me thinking, writing, talking and dreaming of characters, plot development, costume design and cinematography. Since then I have been catching up on missed classics and trying to stay up-to-date on what’s in theaters.

aha! movies are good.

I still tread lightly to the theater, venturing in only after a couple of trusted recommendations. I am not even an amateur film critic and I hardly know the names of directors to my favorite films. But falling in love with movies has influenced the way that I talk, write, dress and engage arts and culture. And it’s made a few sick days nearly pleasant.

films I plan to see soon:

Sherlock Holmes

Fantastic Mr. Fox

Avatar

…and the many best changes I made to it.

December 8–Moment of peace. An hour or a day or a week of solitude. What was the quality of your breath? The state of your mind? How did you get there?

A year ago now’ish I was reviewing 2008 with my eyes closed tightly. Full of anxiety, fear and a “just move forward” attitude, 2008 had held a family crisis, my wedding and graduation, none of which were independently responsible for the crash of my parasympathetic nervous system, but the corresponding timing of it all left me wanting to wash my hands of nearly everything that 2008 had been.

But Pilot washed his hands and he’s still in that bloody story.

So instead of washing my hands, closing my eyes and continuing to live at break neck speed just to pass the time, I opened my eyes, took a deep breath, unclenched my fists and stepped tremulously into 2009. I found a new yoga studio, caught up on some sleep and planned a vacation to a little-known corner of the world. I planted a garden, went through a detox, rearranged the house,  made a few loaves of bread and practiced a lot of yoga in and out of the studio. My caffeine cut back only lasted a couple of months, but hey, life works in seasons.

My trip to Costa Rica in March epitomized this prolonged moment of peace. My deepest breaths happened after the morning yoga practices, when the boundaries of yogic breath and ocean breeze blurred together in a seamless and natural rhythm. It took a lot of breathing to loosen the anxiety in my chest and un-knot the fear in my belly. So this has been my year of solitude.

The next step to engage this year of solitude, this moment of peace, was to make a more permanent change of scenery, a cleansing change of context. So, we hit the road in August and we’ve been there ever since: Arizona, Nova Scotia, New York, West Virginia, Pennsylvania, Toronto, Indianapolis and eventually a return to Costa Rica.We stuffed the things we did not need into garages and the stuff we wanted with us fit in the back of our Honda CRV. 8,000 miles later I have experienced the fulfilling company of the self that solitude uncovers in the soul, and the longing loneliness it creates out of appreciation for community.

So I am still in the middle of my deepest breath, taking that last sip at the top of the inhale that began deep in my belly, moved up in between my ribs, filled my lungs, opened my heart and squeezed past my throat. Inhaling peace, restoration, energy, cleanliness, warmth and suppleness. The exhale might see its way into 2010, might even ring it in with a controlled gust. With some health inside me it will soon be time to exhale some of those toxins, the staleness and the tightness.

2009 has been my moment of peace. And while that hasn’t consistently been peace and quiet, or peace and ease, it has  been peace and breath. Shanti.

Best Trip 2009 (with subtitles)

Intra-national: My hike through the Paria Canyon in May with one lover, four friends and a brother was a life highlight I hope to revisit though will never repeat. Five days in the womb of the earth will leave anyone feeling nurtured and refreshed.

International: Punto Banco, Costa Rica. A lucky google search and a very long (bumpy, cramped, hot) bus ride spit us out at  end of the last road in Costa Rica before the Panamanian border (no, really). An ass-burning hike up a hill and there we were–The Yoga Farm. Fresh mango in the morning, hammocks in the afternoon and sunsets in the evening. The open-air dormitory is tiled in mosaic blue hues that mirror the ocean view from the yoga deck. Solar power, organic gardens, horse transportation and fresh springs make it off the grid not only geographically but environmentally as well. It is also the place where I will be returning in March to teach yoga. If a four mile walk is the only thing that will keep you away from Twitter, this is the place for you.

Best Restaurant Moment 2009

And there we were on the morning of my birthday at Bonjour Brioche on East Queen Street in Toronto. The corner table with the the blue gingham cloth was situated in the nook by the side window. I ordered my mango sunrise and Angie ordered her pomegranate mimosa. Next thing I know, the charming waitress from behind the counter is walking over with a wine bottle watering a bursting yellow rose and a gift wrapped box. “Happy Birthday,” she said as she placed it in the center of the table. Angie was beaming. I shed a tear. Involving strangers in birthday surprises=best friend points forever. Oh, and the lemon custard brioche with raspberry cream was finger-licking decadence.

And here is my first article! Check it out.

Healthy Food for the Homeless

Throughout the book, Stewart offers a step by step account of hundreds of interactions, conversations, quarrels and emails between himself and local Iraqis, Baghdad based officials, military personnel and fellow Coalition staff. Whether he is doling out millions of dollars to local contractors or pouring tea for the local Sheiks, Stewart’s charisma and diplomacy is inspiring, intriguing and puzzling. If you have the patience to finish the book, it is likely because you are fascinated by the lengths to which Stewart’s patience is stretched and yet prevails again and again in the wasteland of politics, negotiations, compromises and mal-resourcing in which he is operating.

And yet, after 400 pages of patience, resiliance and stalwart effort, the final words are bleak. Throughout his account, Stewart bucks up against the words “occupation” and “colonialism”. And as a man educated in History, Arabism and the sheer experience of living abroad, he has a right to argue the semantics. Yet he debates them not for the sake of defending the actions of the Western allies. He objects to the terms as an individual with a sincere investment in the well being of Iraqi citizens. As for the invasion, he says,

Our very presence was a paradox. We emphasized that democracy was the only legitimate form of government, yet we were unelected foreigners. We knew that if locals ran things, they would feel a sense of ownership and responsibility, sustaining development, whereas foreigners would create parallel structures that undermined local capacity. Yet we administered the country directly…We overestimated the power of the United States and its allies…no plan survives an invasion…[and] we under estimated the power of Iraqi society…In short, I can confidently assert that Iraqis are the only people with the moral authority, understanding, and skills to rebuild their nation.

Overall I recommend this book to anyone interested in more civilian, yet still political aspects of the war in Iraq. Stewart does not exactly bow to hand holding his reader through the litany of Arab names, but he does offer an accessible and honest perspective, one that gains sympathy for (almost) everyone who is involved.

For a brief update and some good perspective on the war in Iraq, check out Rory Stewart’s appearance on Bill Moyers Journal.

One of the key debates regarding the award is not the integrity of Obama himself, but more so the integrity of the prize. It does seem as though the reasons for his election are hung on hopes and promises. Take the politics out of it (…just try for a second…) and it becomes an interesting debate over the notion of productivity. The question swarming around the announcement is, “…but what has he done?”

The Nobel committee’s decision contradicts the idea of measuring a man by the outcomes of his efforts and measures them instead on the intensity of his efforts. It’s a qualitative instead of quantitative outlook.This is why one person can say, “What a wonderful decision on the part of the Nobel Prize Committee, granting recognition to the outstanding, and very rare, qualities of idealistic defense of human values which Barack Obama has displayed,” and another can object that “President Obama has yet to prove that he will move seriously on the Middle East, that he will end the war in Afghanistan and many other issues.” On the one hand he is lauded for his personal investments and ideas while on the other he is held accountable for the state and position of the country he is running.

It seems to be that, good or bad, the Nobel committee chose Obama because he is iconic, in which case it might make sense why they awarded him so early in his presidency. Surely such a position in the world will only warrant disillusionment and a tarnishing of ideals and hopes as time goes on.  Has the world moved on from their love affair? Perhaps the committee’s biggest mistake is that they waited too long…

Internet reading and blogging specifically has marked interest in new reading trends in light of the way that people scan information. But the more I think of it, the more I wonder which is new–the reading methods, or the mediums to which we are applying the methods? It seems the human brain was made to absorb as much information as possible in the least amount of time given. But now instead of using our scanning methods to beat the system (ie textbooks), the system is using our methods to hook us.  Writers and other information producers are using reader’s scanning abilities to offer the most content in the least time or space.

Whereas scanning text books and novels for high school tests is counter productive for learning, scanning blogs and newspapers for pictures, fonts and keywords seems to promote information retention. This is personally benefiting  in my quest to become a cosmopolitan woman of opinions and knowledge; it takes only a few minutes of internet reading a day to fake my way through high minded conversation with the best of them…

As niches become more refined, knowledge becomes more interdisciplinary. All of us are looking for ways to stay informed, to participate and perform in the social sphere. Social media is our prop for social performance. And the most efficient means earns the loudest applause. Yay Twitter! Yay RSS feeds! Yay del.icio.us! Yay Chapters display tables!